I feel for Coulson the way Coulson feels for Cap.REBLOG IF YOU LOVE AGENT COULSON.
EVERYONE REBLOG.
FOREVER.
THE WHOLE WEBSITE BETTER FUCKING REBLOG
Duh.
(Source: morethanpotter)
Released Today!
Today? April 26.
Released? Just One of the Guys.
When? 1985.
Who’s In It? Joyce Hyser, Clayton Rohner, Billy Jacoby, Sherilyn Fenn and 80’s Villain Hall of Famer William Zabka
Who Directed It? Lisa Gottlieb
What’s It About? Terry is determined to win a school writing contest to prove that a pretty girl can be capable and intelligent. In order to be taken seriously, she dresses as a boy and tries to blend in at a new school until the contest results are announced. (You know when looking at this summary, this premise seems kind of ridiculous and far-fetched…)
How Old Was I? 11.
Did I See It Then? Yes, with my sister.
Have I Seen It Since? Yep!
Ah Just One of the Guys. What a silly, fun little movie. A few random observations:
Disclaimer: I don’t remember the main character’s name, so for the sake of this article I’m just gonna call her Just One of the Guys.*
1 - The girl who played Just One of the Guys is now 54 years old. Man, that makes me feel ancient. Also it means she was 27 while playing a high school student. Nice job, the 80’s.
2 - Any time I see someone from this movie in something else, I always say “Hey, it’s so and so from Just One of the Guys!” Exception: William Zabka.
3 - Man, Zabka kicks ass. Anyone remember when was on the TV show The Equalizer as Son of the Equalizer? He actually got to play a good guy. Good for you, William Zabka.
4 - 80’s teen movies showed so many more boobs than today. I don’t think anyone was actually watching these movies when they rated them. I guess it was PG-13 but PG-13 in 1985 meant something very different than in 2012.
5 - One thing I really admire about William Zabka is his Shatner-esque understanding of his place in pop culture. The dude has no illusions about the fact that to millions of people he’s the jerk from Karate Kid, Back to School and Just One of the Guys.
6 - Really good supporting cast of hot 80’s babes: Young Sherilyn Fenn was insanely beautiful, Zabka’s girlfriend was just about the perfect 1985 girl and Just One of the Guys best friend was super cute too. Honestly the least cute girl was Just One of the Guys.
7 - Don’t get me wrong, Just One of the Guys was very cute. And she looks like the Karate Kid as a dude.
8 - Kudos for the casting of Billy Jacoby as Just One of the Guys horny younger brother. Loved that kid on Parker Lewis Can’t Lose. Also he played young Dar in Beastmaster. That alone makes him good in my book.
9 - The walls of Billy’s room was covered with Playboy centerfolds. I’m embarrassed to say that I used Billy’s room as an inspiration for my room in high school.
10 - I’ve always thought the weird collection of geek/nerd high school characters from this movie served as the inspiration for Napoleon Dynamite. It’s like they took a background weirdo from Just One of the Guys and gave him his own movie.
There ya go! Ten thoughts about Just One of the Guys.
*Ha, look at that. Just One of the Guys’s name is Terry. It says it right there in the “What’s It About?” section. Ah well.
Released Today!
Today? April 25.
Released? Volcano.
When? 1997.
Who’s In It? Tommy Lee Jones, Anne Heche, Gaby Hoffman, and Don Cheadle.
Who Directed It? Mick Jackson
What’s It About? A volcano erupts in downtown L.A., threatening to destroy the city.
How Old Was I? 23.
Did I See It Then? Nope.
Have I Seen It Since? Yep.
Instead of doing any kind of review of Volcano, I would like to take a few moments to draw attention to the great creativity that existed in Hollywood back in 97-99.
Obviously we have “Dante’s Peak” and “Volcano”, both released in 1997.
Between June 98 and March 99 we saw both “The Truman Show” and “EdTV” herald the dawn of the modern reality TV age.
Who would have thought there was such an appetite for computer animated insects in 1998 that both “Antz” and “A Bug’s Life” had to be released?
Of course our list wouldn’t be complete without an asteroids trying to destroy the world in the summer of ‘98. “Deep Impact” took more of a human approach to the potential end of the world while “Armageddon” went balls to the wall action. Each movie stars an actor I like better as a director (Jon Farveau in DI, Ben Affleck in Armageddon).
Don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty of other examples outside of that particular 25 month span:
“Tombstone” with Kurt Russell and “Wyatt Earp” were released within 6 months of each other in 1993-94.
2000 must have been a great year if you loved Mars, as both “Mission to Mars” and “Red Planet” came out. Although both did suck. And didn’t make all that much money. Apparently not that many people loved Mars after all.
Regina dragged me to both President’s daughters movies in 2004 (“Chasing Liberty” and “First Daughter”). She was very upset in First Daughter when I blurted out, “Oh my God is HE a Secret Service agent too?” He was…just like in Chasing Liberty. Our relationship shockingly managed to survive.
There was a two month span in 2006 that saw “The Illusionist” and “The Prestige” come out. I don’t recall this being accurate but I guess Victorian English magicians were all the rage back then.
What’s my point? When it comes to ideas, Hollywood isn’t really all that big a town. This is a place that has given us remakes of “Footloose”, “Fright Night” and the soon to be released “Total Recall” within the past year, so it’s not like they’ve got a backlog of good concepts just waiting to be made. So it makes sense that some exec says to another “I’m making a disaster picture with a volcano” and that other exec says “That’s a good idea, only I’m gonna put mine in downtown LA!”
I can’t fault them for doing that. We all get our ideas from all kinds of different sources, and often we crib the seed of an idea from someone else.
I can fault them for their timing and then expecting us to shell out good money to see (essentially) the same movie with different casts.
For example, “Mirror Mirror” with Julia Roberts and Lily Collins just came out and “Snow White and the Huntsman” with Kristen Stewart, Charlize Theron and Chris Hemsworth is due this summer. Both are literally re-workings for the Snow White story. The difference? One is more playful, the other darker. And I’m expected to see both.
Alas, my disdain for Julia Roberts, Kristen Stewart and pissing away my money means I’ll end up seeing neither.
Sorry Hollywood.
Muppet Lantern Corps by ~mimi-na
I have no words.
This is utterly fantastic. And why the hell didn’t I think of this??
Released Today!
Today? April 24.
Released? Braveheart.
When? 1995.
Who’s In It? Mel Gibson, Sophie Marceau, Patrick McGoohan, Angus Macfadyen, Brendan Gleeson, and Catherine McCormack
Who Directed It? Mel Gibson.
What’s It About? William Wallace, a commoner, unites the 13th Century Scots in their battle to overthrow English rule. (Although I prefer to think it’s all about “FREEEEEEDOMMMMMMM!”)
How Old Was I? 21.
Did I See It Then? Yes, it’s the last movie I saw with my dad in the theaters. We were chatting about it the other day, because it was the first movie he saw after his heart surgery and it ended with a dude getting his chest ripped open. But by dad is from Northern England, a stone’s throw from Scotland, so he enjoyed it nonetheless.
Have I Seen It Since? Yeah, a whole bunch of times.
Parallel thoughts about Braveheart:
Braveheart is an awesome movie. Totally awesome.
(I don’t believe in reincarnation, but if I did, I’m pretty sure Mel Gibson is the reincarnation of Hitler.)
I sincerely doubt anyone has filmed a better speech on horseback than William Wallace’s “They’ll never take our freedom” speech.
(It’s possible Mel’s dad Hutton, a WW2 vet and notorious Holocaust denier, somehow got his hands on Hitler’s brain at the end of the war and eventually implanted it into his son’s body, ala the Ultra-Humanite in James Robinson’s The Golden Age.)
Apparently the horse he was riding would start to run any time Mel would yell. Which, during that particular speech, was often. They decided to go with it because it increased the drama of the speech.
(It’s a good thing Mel never rode that horse while talking to his ex-girlfriend on a cell phone.)
It’s funny, until I saw Braveheart I never even knew there was a war for Scottish independence. I assumed they were cool with things the way they were.
(I also assume Mel thinks that somehow the Jews caused that war, since they are “responsible for all the wars in the world.”)
Braveheart was the first “important” film that I can recall not pulling it’s punches when it came to showing violence. Of course, he took it to a whole new level with “The Passion of the Christ”.
(Knowing what we know now about him, I wonder if the amount of torture porn in The Passion was less sincere devotion and more that Mel just really enjoyed showing a Jewish person being tortured in the most obscene ways possible.)
The battles scenes are so epic, visceral and realistic. Remember the one battle where a splatter of blood actually hits the camera lens? I wonder if that was accidental or intentional?
(I also wonder if he imagined the opposing armies as big groups of Jews, women and homosexuals, taking demented delight in watching them suffer?)
So yeah…Braveheart. Totally awesome movie.
(And yeah…Mel Gibson. Totally horrific person.)
Released Today!
Today? April 23.
Released? Man on Fire.
When? 2004.
Who’s In It? Denzel Washington, Dakota Fanning, Christopher Walken, Marc Anthony, Radha Mitchell, Giancarlo Giannini, Rachel Ticotin and Mickey Rourke.
Who Directed It? Tony Scott, his lone high point in the 2000’s.
What’s It About? In Mexico City, a former assassin swears vengeance on those who committed an unspeakable act against the family he was hired to protect.
How Old Was I? 30.
Did I See It Then? Nope. Totally missed it.
Have I Seen It Since? Yeah. It’s on cable a lot.
This movie is pretty good for the first 45 minutes or so, an interesting character study about a broken man and the paternal relationship he develops with the young girl he’s hired to protect. Denzel Washington excels at playing men with tragic pasts and deep pain raging just beneath his cold surface. It’s a tense and interesting film.
And then he turns into the Terminator. And it’s AWESOME.
I’m a huge fan of the Man on a Mission genre of action film. These are movies that are hard not to get behind - the protagonist invariably has a clear goal (to figure something out, rescue someone and/or to get revenge on someone), there’s an enormous sense of urgency (if something doesn’t happen “in three days…”) and there’s always colossally high stakes (“…then someone will die”). Your hero is always going, going, going, and nothing is ever going to stop him. Just like how I described Denzel in Man on Fire, the Man on a Mission pretty much becomes the Terminator, only as an unstoppable force for “good” (however that “good” is defined in the terms of the movie at least. Get Carter and The Limey both feature bad men doing bad things to worse people…not quite “good” but in the context of the film’s reality it’s as good as it’s gonna get).
On top of that, the protagonist is always moving. I follow a blog called Scriptshadow and on it he talks about the “active protagonist”, the main character who is doing something rather than passively waiting for things to come to him and then reacting. The Man on a Mission genre is 100% the domain of the active protagonist. And as an audience member, you root for that guy. He’s taking charge, getting things done. Those guys are awesome.*
Man on Fire is great because Denzel goes on a vengeance seeking rampage through Mexico City for the last hour of the film and the whole time you’re totally with him. Even though he’s doing some truly horrible things to people, too. Funny how things so awful seem acceptable in the name of justice. (The key is that Denzel never seems to take pleasure in what he’s doing. It’s just a means to an end. Contrast that to Gerard Butler in Law Abiding Citizen - a guy who seems to relish in his torture and revenge. No matter how bad the injustices heaped upon him are, it’s hard to get behind the guy.)
A personal aside: it’s funny that despite how much I enjoy these kinds of movies, I almost always miss them in the theaters. I remember when I saw Taken, like 8 months after it came out and tried to tell people about this amazingly awesome Liam Neeson movie I’d seen. Everyone was like, “Yeah Tony…seen it.” My bad.
*The biggest exception is the Disney movie Beauty and the Beast. EVERYONE is passive in that movie. Beast waits for a girl to wander into his castle, and even then has to be prodded into making any sort of advances on her. Belle wants adventure but she never actively seeks it; she only ever does anything in response to her dad going missing. In fact, the only proactive person in Beauty and the Beast is Gaston. Poor Gaston. He’d be the hero of his own movie, only instead he’s stuck as the villain in someone else’s.
Released Today!
Today? April 18.
Released? Legend.
When? 1985.
Who’s In It? Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, Tim Curry and Billy Barty
Who Directed It? Ridley Scott, after Alien and Blade Runner.
What’s It About? A young man must stop the Lord of Darkness from both destroying daylight and marrying the woman he loves.
How Old Was I? 12.
Did I See It Then? Yes, with my mom and my sister (as usual).
Have I Seen It Since? Yes, but not recently.
Hey look, another fantasy movie from the mid-1980’s! I tell ya, that was a glorious time for fantasy flicks. They didn’t have the amazing effects and budgets that we do today, but there was a greater sense of sincerity to them. For the most part, they were stories people - be they writers, directors or producers - simply wanted to tell, with no thought of tent pole franchises, merchandising, Happy Meals or sequels. They were just making the movie for the sake of making the movie and I’d say those movies were better for it.
That being said, Legend is a largely forgettable movie. I’ll clarify - it’s a largely forgettable story. Legend is a visual feast. It’s gorgeous. But until I read up today, all I could really say about the story was there was a unicorn and some kind of quest to save Sloane from Ferris Bueller from the Devil.
Ah yes…the Devil.
Tim Curry’s performance and appearance as Darkness, the immense Satanic maestro of villainy is what makes Legend memorable. He’s terrifying, like something out of a medieval painting or a child’s nightmares. (In fact, I doubt there was a kid who saw Legend and didn’t use Darkness as their visual template for Satan.) Tim Curry underwent 5 ½ hours of make-up every day to become Darkness and let me assure him that every torturous minute was completely worth it based on what we saw onscreen. The fact that he could deliver an effective performance under all that is amazing; even more amazing is how nuanced his performance truly is. Darkness isn’t just pure evil, he’s also petulant and jealous and strangely insecure. I wouldn’t call Tim Curry a great actor but the man is definitely capable of some great performances. And Darkness is one of them.
Interesting that he’s also responsible for Pennywise the Clown in It. The man is an expert at portraying the stuff of nightmares.
Released Today!
Today? April 13.
Released? Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter.
When? 1984.
Who’s In It? Kimberly Beck, Erich Anderson, Corey Feldman, Crispin Glover and an uncredited Ted White as Jason
Who Directed It? Joseph Zito
What’s It About? After being mortally wounded and taken to the morgue, murderer Jason Voorhees spontaneously revives and embarks on a killing spree as he makes his way back to his home at Crystal Lake.
How Old Was I? 11.
Did I See It Then? Nope.
Have I Seen It Since? Nope.
If this Friday the 13th is the Final Chapter, does that make Friday the 13th: A New Beginning, Friday the 13th: Jason Lives, Friday the 13th: The New Blood, Friday the 13th: Jason Takes Manhattan, Friday the 13th: Jason Goes To Hell, Friday the 13th: Jason X, and Freddy vs. Jason all epilogues?
Released Today!
Today? April 12.
Released? Ladyhawke.
When? 1985.
Who’s In It? Matthew Broderick, Rutger Hauer, Michelle Pfieffer, John Wood and a young Alfred Molina
Who Directed It? Richard Donner, in between The Goonies and Lethal Weapon!
What’s It About? Captain Etienne Navarre is a man on whose shoulders lie a cruel curse. Punished for loving each other, Navarre must become a wolf by night whilst his lover, Lady Isabeau, takes the form of a hawk by day. Together, with the thief Philippe Gaston, they must try to overthrow the corrupt Bishop and in doing so break the spell.
How Old Was I? 12.
Did I See It Then? Yes, with my mom and sister.
Have I Seen It Since? I’m sure I have, although honestly it’s probably been 15 years at least.
I think everyone should see Ladyhawke, if only because it’s a time capsule that’s masquerading as a movie. It’s a moment in time, and that moment is 1985, which of course is strange considering it’s set in the 12th Century.
You should see it for 26 year old Michelle Pfieffer at the apex of her gorgeousness, playing the titular Ladyhawke, one half of cursed lovers. Michelle Pfieffer now is an amazing looking lady in her 50’s; back then she was almost incomprehensibly beautiful. In retrospect, she was without question the most beautiful woman of the 80’s, to the point I can’t name a single competitor to the title. In Ladyhawke, she’s so stunning it almost hurts to look at her. It doesn’t hurt that she’s playing Isabeau, this tragic, mysterious woman adorned all in white, the untouchable object of Rutger Hauer’s longing.
Yet at the same time, she wears her hair in this anachronistically short style that just shouts mid-80’s. It doesn’t make her any less beautiful, but it does indicate the era the movie was made.
You should see it for Rutger Hauer in his post-Nighthawks/Blade Runner heyday. I’m a big softy for the guy, but that makes sense since my formative movie going years were right in his prime, from 1980-1986. And he’s not a bad actor by any means! He gives a committed, pained performance as Navarre while still adding some humor to the guy. People never gave him enough credit for being funny. Plus he has this cool double decker crossbow that is about the neatest thing I’d ever seen in 1985.
Yet at the same time, it’s Rutger Hauer. He’s a quintessential 80’s villain. He’s the guy who made a comeback in 2005 in a pair of comic book movies (Sin City and Batman Begins) and everyone went “Hey! It’s the guy from the 80’s!”
You should see it for Matthew Broderick because seriously, what the heck is Matthew Broderick doing in this movie??? A costume fantasy film set in 12th century Europe? And yet there he is, playing Phillippe “the Mouse”, a wisecracking thief who must have been an ancestor to Ferris Bueller (which amazingly came out the next year). Broderick is genuinely funny making frequent asides to God, his British accent isn’t bad (he didn’t really get a good grip on an accent until Glory), and as the audience’s guide through the film he’s quite effective.
Yet at the same time, it’s Ferris Bueller! Admittedly, back then we wasn’t Ferris Bueller but now he is and it’s weird seeing Ferris in medieval Europe.
You should see it because it’s breathtakingly filmed, with dazzling locations and cinematography that does them justice. You can tell they did painstaking amounts of work on Ladyhawke. I think Richard Donner gets a bum rap for his visual style. This is the guy who made us believe a man could fly in Superman and brought a group of kid’s pirate fantasies to life in the Goonies. He’s got this stuff figured out. And believe me, he totally has it figured out in Ladyhawke.
Yet at the same time, he included a progressive rock soundtrack by Andrew Powell and Alan Parsons that was described by Rob Vaux of Flipside Movie Emporium as the “worst soundtrack ever composed”. The 80’s loved adding in weird synthesizered “modern” soundtracks to fantasy films (the soundtrack to Legend was by Tangerine Dream). It firmly grounds a movie aimed at being timeless into one specific moment in time.
All that said, is it a bad thing to be a time capsule of a movie? I don’t think so. It doesn’t change that Ladyhawke is a fun, entertaining movie, with an interesting concept that was executed well.
On top of that, Ladyhawke is a representation of a moment of MY time. The early 80’s were a great era for fantasy films, and that was the era I grew up in. There’s probably a dozen fantasy movies from 1980-1987 that act as sign posts in my life; Ladyhawke is one of them. It came out following my mom’s divorce from my step-dad, when we’d moved into the first apartment I’d ever lived in, and I had my own room for the first time in five years (which was good since I was just starting puberty). It came out just as I was getting into AD&D. I know for a fact I ran a thief named Mouse and a paladin who looked like Navarre.
And I’m sure they were both in love with a girl who looked like Michelle Pfieffer.
